Being the inspiration for my column, Sam seems to feel a sense of responsibility to provide fodder for fresh writing material. He tends to do this right before my column is due. Like the first time I had to call poison control. And the second time I had to call poison control. Like the time he swallowed a screw. Like the time he got croup and we took our first trip to the ER.
As of this week I can add a new little Sam adventure to my list: getting locked out of my car with both babies in it. To be fair, the blonde one is more of a freakishly mechanically inclined toddler than a baby but still ... my heart dropped when I reached for the handle and realized they were both in there, Jake was screaming and I couldn't help him. Sam, luckily (or not) thought it was pretty awesome so he wasn't one bit afraid.
I'll back up ... back when I used to swear all the time on this blog I would've used a word that started with "cluster" to describe the morning we were having, instead I'll settle for "chaotic."
We went to the community center open play room for too long after play-pre-school so Sam was waaaaaaaay past his cooperative point. Jake wasn't doing much better which tells you were I was at. So it's raining, of course, and I'm wearing Jake on my front because I seem to be incapable of figuring out how to use the Moby in other ways. I've got Sam by the hand, my backpack and extra bag of extra things we may (or may not) need. (We didn't). I get to the car, open the front passenger door to put the bags down and Jake pukes. All over me. Sweet. (And I say "puke" because "spit-up" implies a lot less than what this kid is capable of throwing down all day long.)
Sam takes the opportunity to climb into the car and worm his way over to the driver's seat. This is the third time in his two years on the planet that he's played in the front of a car, and the first time under my supervision.
I let Sam play as I come around to put Jake in his seat. First I have to take off my coat to get the wrap off so I can clean him up. I didn't strap Jake in because I wanted to get Sam out of the front seat and buckled into his own before doing anything else. I shut the door and went to open the driver's side door. Sam grinned at me as I realized it was locked. My key was in the coat covering Jake.
Amy came over to see how we were doing and I started to panic.
She started troubleshooting. I told her to go ahead and leave. I knew I could convince Sam to unlock it.
"I'm not going to leave!" She said. Which was a good thing because she saved the day in the end. But we aren't there yet.
As I'm pounding on the window to get Sam's attention away from the newly discovered CD slots and all the buttons, a lady walks over from the Sheriff's office. Yes, isn't that awesome? I am parked across the parking lot from the Sheriff's office. She offers to help. I tell her I think we're good, I'm sure Sam can unlock it. In fact, I'm positive because he pointed to the button with the key on it before resuming playing with the blinkers.
Then she hears Jake screaming. "You have a really little one in there. I'm going to have to get a deputy now."
Really, Sam? Don't you know I just voted against Carlton contracting with the Sheriff's office?
And then Amy saves the day by holding a sucker up to the window.
"If you open the door, I'll give you this sucker." He tried to negotiate to get the sucker without giving up the front seat. When he realized she was serious about the conditions, he pulled the handle and released his hostage. The car alarm started going off as the deputies were walking toward us.
Because I'm still the kid who doesn't want to go to the principal's office, I was afraid I'd get in trouble but really the police were there to help. I'm just glad they didn't have to.