A couple weeks ago I wrote about the importance of keeping our eyes on our own paper when it comes to comparing ourselves, our work, our lives with the highlight reels of others.
Becky Higgins posted on the same topic that same day and generously linked to my post which is how I got to connect with so many of you. (Yay!)
I felt like the message was well received and hit home for a lot of us. Which validated my belief that we are experiencing an esteem epidemic among women in our country. (This may be true for men, and other countries but I can only speak to that which I know for sure.)
Further proof that this is so was found in comments and posts responding to encouragement to keep things simple if that is what works for you. Somehow, this got translated for some to feeling like a pass to mock, criticize and put down others for approaching Project Life in a more embellished fashion. That was never my intent. My point, and I know this is true for Becky as well, was—and is—that how someone else does something is not a reflection or commentary on YOU, your process or your end product.
One comment that stood out to me in particular said something about being bothered by all the stuff Becky was posting as inspiration because this person didn’t like being made to feel inferior.
Made to feel inferior.
It feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it?
Until you realize that Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous words, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” are true to the core.
But you have to be willing to recognize the truth in that and invest in yourself to the point where you are grounded enough in your own sense of self to master (and override) the part your brain that allows you to think someone else is in control of any part of you.
Does that make sense?
It’s possible. I promise. And I’m at this very moment developing a class to help guide anyone who is interested along that journey to personal emotional empowerment.
(Partly because I’m an expert in a lot of ways not to be mentally healthy! While I don’t have it all figured out, the good news is I understand clearly “all figured out” was never the point.)
If the person who made that comment, or felt that way is reading this, I mean no disrespect. I totally get that feeling. I totally get thinking other people are making me feel a certain way.
There was a time I rolled around judging other people by how their looks made me feel about mine. (Not proud to admit that but it’s the truth.) It took me a long time to realize that’s what I was doing. And longer still to change the pattern in my brain. But my life is more peaceful because of it.
Another example that I realized only this morning (!):
Talking to a good girlfriend last night I mentioned that the perfect analogy for a particular relationship in my life is the Whac-a-Mole game, remember that? Where you had a bat and you’d beat the mole down every time it popped up?
“I feel like every time I forgive, rally and agree to move forward – whack! I’m the mole!” I told her. I prayed about this relationship before going to sleep, asking for peace in my heart, guidance and clarity.
This morning I woke up with this sentence on my mind: Yes, you are the mole. You are also holding the bat.
I’ll leave you with that, for now.
p.s. If you like reading this blog, I’d take it as a lovely compliment if you subscribed! Thank you.
Note: for anyone who’d like it, you may copy, save and/or print the quote card I made at the top of this post. I made it for you. If you need me to email it to you, let me know!