On this gorgeous Sunday in Oregon, I’m procrastinating writing a final draft of my birth story column … I’m looking through old drafts of emails and posts to find some specific phrases I want to use and found this little gem. I meant to post it a couple months ago, back when we were funny and more happily married. But even then there were cracks in our caulking … metaphorically and otherwise.*
Here ya go – overheard around the Hardy house:
Me: Good news! I finally found something that will scrub that nasty buildup on the caulking in the tub.
Matt: Why are you looking at me like that?
Me: Well, because now it has to be re-caulked so it’s back in your department. But it does look so much better!
~~~
Matt to me early in the morning as both boys are comfortably asleep in our bed while we have cramps, kinks and dead limbs: We have to figure out a way to keep these kids out of our bed!
Matt to me after getting home from work and seeing my new organizing project-in-progress:
That should keep them out of our bed. Where are we going to sleep though?
~~~
When Sam started “marking” his and Jake’s cars with my nail polish, inspired by his dad and uncle’s system circa 1979, I got a headache from the smell. He was marking each one so … intricately.**
Me to Sam: You’re not taking them to prom! Just do one dot and move on.
~~~
Me to Matt (after the aforementioned project was completed***):
I’m not sure which is the title, the deed, and what all that stuff means so in the event of my untimely death it’s all in a file marked “{street name} – title.”
Matt: I’m not planning to throttle you or anything.
Me: Or, you could’ve said that in the event of my untimely death paperwork would be the least of your concerns … not to put words in your mouth or anything.
*Guess what? We are working on repairing this marriage of ours. Despite what anyone else tells me that feels harder than going through with the divorce. I have faith, though, that it’s the right thing to do for me personally, and for our family.
** Why, you might wonder, are some marked with pink AND red. Well, naturally those cars belong to both boys.
*** Y’all get that when I say “completed” I mean, removed from the bed and turned into small landmines throughout my office/bedroom/studio right? Okay, good.
