This picture of me and the boys, taken on this road trip in Vantage, Washington, looks at first glance like just another summer vacation picture. For me, though it frames a point of personal growth. There are several other pictures that are better ones of the boys ... but you'll notice if you look closely that I have the boys positioned very carefuly in order to hide the parts of me I'm ashamed of. I'm so, so sick of feeling like that. While I've made personal gains in this area (word choice?) since the days of refusing to be in a swimsuit on a hot day, I still have a ways to go. Like 38 pounds to be specific.
This road trip break splashing and swimming in the Columbia River, combined with a few other things that came next, ended up being an epiphane for me. I realized that the only way I'll ever know if I'll really feel better by losing the weight is to actually do it. For real.
I used to set goals as realistic as: "lose 40 pounds before seeing my parents. Next weekend."Or, "lose 25 pounds before summer" in May. I've hesitated to go all Bridget Jones on you but then it occured to me that story struck a nerve with enough people that I might as well just keep doing my thing ... which is to say write my life out loud.
So ... my 35th birthday is in six months. I think I could healthfully lose 35 pounds by then and I can't imagine a better gift to myself!
P.S. It isn't lost on me that this moment of clarity took place in a town called Vantage.
- (n) vantage (place or situation affording some advantage (especially a comprehensive view or commanding perspective))
In other news: my Confessions of a Green Wannabecolumn printed while we were out of town, I wrote about my Meatless Monday experiences. Here's the link if you're interested: http://www.newsregister.com/article/45345-confessions+green+wannabe+going+meatless+once+week