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March 2012
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May 2012

The Salad Standoff



Recently Jake decided he wasn’t going to eat his vegetables anymore. I don’t love spending any part of dinner on cajoling kids to eat the food I went out of my way to prepare in a healthful, tasty way.

Earlier this week, we both put our foot down in what will forever be known as The Salad Standoff. Matt suggested we serve the salad first and then the rest of dinner so there was no room for discussion, debate or drama.

Jake immediately pushed his bowl away: “Don’t want ‘dat.” We calmly told him he had to eat his salad, like the rest of us, and then he could have dinner which would be followed by dessert. The rest of us ate in that order while Jake refused to take a single bite of salad, instead repeating “I don’t like salad! ‘Dat yucky!” again and again until we finally excused him from the table when we were all done eating.

I was a little worried about how nighttime would go but was confident in our choice to starve him out to teach him a healthy habit. For the record there was nothing in that salad he hasn’t eaten and liked before: spinach + goat cheese + sunflower seeds and Annie’s Goddess Dressing (Affiliate Link).

I can hear it now: You’d seriously send your kid to bed hungry because he wouldn’t eat his salad?

Totally. Because I’m the mom. And partially because of my own eating-disordered brain it is essential to me that we don’t create a pattern of control and drama around food. I know it might seem like that’s exactly  what I did here but it wasn’t a new food. It was him being stubborn and me giving in a few times too many.

So, here is what happened:

Instead of starving to death, because he was truly hungry, as I was putting his pajamas on he looked at me with his big, owl brown eyes and said: “Mama, I hungee.”

“Do you want your salad?”

“Yes.” He said. I tried not to look shocked (or smug) as I carried him downstairs, back to the table where his salad was still waiting for him.

Here he is, happily, eating his salad. Which was followed by two servings of meatloaf and none of the mashed potatoes.

File under: battle picking.





On this gorgeous Sunday in Oregon, I’m procrastinating writing a final draft of my birth story column … I’m looking through old drafts of emails and posts to find some specific phrases I want to use and found this little gem. I meant to post it a couple months ago, back when we were funny and more happily married. But even then there were cracks in our caulking … metaphorically and otherwise.*

Here ya go – overheard around the Hardy house:

Me: Good news! I finally found something that will scrub that nasty buildup on the caulking in the tub.

Matt: Why are you looking at me like that?

Me: Well, because now it has to be re-caulked so it’s back in your department. But it does look so much better!


Matt to me early in the morning as both boys are comfortably asleep in our bed while we have cramps, kinks and dead limbs: We have to figure out a way to keep these kids out of our bed!

Matt to me after getting home from work and seeing my new organizing project-in-progress:


That should keep them out of our bed. Where are we going to sleep though?


When Sam started “marking” his and Jake’s cars with my nail polish, inspired by his dad and uncle’s system circa 1979, I got a headache from the smell. He was marking each one so … intricately.**



Me to Sam: You’re not taking them to prom! Just do one dot and move on.


Me to Matt (after the aforementioned project was completed***):

I’m not sure which is the title, the deed, and what all that stuff means so in the event of my untimely death it’s all in a file marked “{street name} – title.”

Matt: I’m not planning to throttle you or anything.

Me: Or, you could’ve said that in the event of my untimely death paperwork would be the least of your concerns … not to put words in your mouth or anything.


*Guess what? We are working on repairing this marriage of ours. Despite what anyone else tells me that feels harder than going through with the divorce. I have faith, though, that it’s the right thing to do for me personally, and for our family.

** Why, you might wonder, are some marked with pink AND red. Well, naturally those cars belong to both boys.

*** Y’all get that when I say “completed” I mean, removed from the bed and turned into small landmines throughout my office/bedroom/studio right? Okay, good.



One of the things I like so much about Project Life is  that I take random pictures like this thinking it’s just a quick snapshot of today. But this little snapshot says so much … Jake longs to go to school with his big brother and more and more wants to be able to do what he does, hence his own “bucket” full of a few of his favorite things. He carries it all the way to drop Sam off, all the way back home and then back and forth again for pick up. This snapshot represents exactly where we are right now, which seems to change in a blink.

Soon enough, Jake will have his own “real” school bucket and these moments we have alone together will be a fond memory. I like that this project encourages me to appreciate those things as I’m living them.


In this shot, you see how we roll … racing … always racing. And how I parent … you can carry your coat or wear it …

Missing socks (and other things)

Project Lie.

Whoops. I didn’t mean to write that. Freudian slip much?

I’ve been working on finding the right words to follow up my abrupt cyber silence.

There just aren’t any … so I’ll simply tell the truth and trust you to be as kind as possible to all parties involved.

I suppose long time readers of this blog could see this coming before I did. While it does not come as a complete surprise it is still a shock to share with you that at this time my husband and I are separated.

I was waiting to say anything until I heard through the grapevine that he was sharing the news with people as he is an intensely private person. (Just one of many things we don’t have in common).

I also don’t know where this separation will lead us … only that it is a relief to have stopped trying so hard and pretending that all is well behind our white picket fence.

I wrote about our unraveling last September. And I can’t explain it better now than I did then. Except to say we’ve traveled farther down the path and in the wrong direction and are currently on distinctly different roads. We might find the intersection of us again. And, we might not.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I appreciate your support and kindness toward our family, fractured as it may be.

I am, obviously, working on a new path since being a write-from-home mama might not be a viable option any longer. Unless I have a reader who’s been longing to be a benefactor?! I would totally dedicate one of my books to you!

I am sorry to those who feel it’s selling out to monetize this blog, and I hope not to lose readers but at the moment I have to do what I can to make the best of what I have. I love writing this blog and ask that those of you who shop on Amazon please consider shopping through the link on this page because as an Amazon Affiliate I get some credit with each purchase linked from here. Thank you.

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